When Your Sibling Drives You Nuts in the Car: The Quiet Back-Seat Move Grown-Ups Notice
Two hours into a long drive, a sibling in the back seat can light a match in your kid's chest. Through Proverbs 17:14 and Solomon's picture of a flood, kids learn that the strong move is to not start the fight in the first place, plus three real things to try the next time the match gets lit.
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For Parents
Two hours into a drive, your kid's jaw locks up because their sibling is humming the same line over and over, or tapping the seat, or breathing weird on purpose. This episode walks them through Proverbs 17:14 and gives them three small moves to try when that match gets lit: one slow breath, asking calmly instead of yelling, and being the one who quits the fight first. You don't have to referee it. Just tell them later that you noticed when they kept the back seat calm.
The One Thing for the Ride
“Not starting the fight in the back seat is the quiet move grown-ups notice.”
Scripture
Proverbs 17:14
CSB
Key Takeaways
- Not starting the fight in the back seat is the quiet move grown-ups notice.
- Solomon compares a fight to a flood: once the water is out, you cannot put it back.
- You can't make your sibling stop, but you can keep the flood from starting.
- Most matches go out in ten seconds if you take a breath and look out the window.
- Being the one who lets your sibling have the last word is one of the strongest moves a kid can make.
Try This Week
- The breath move: when you feel the match, take one slow breath and look out the window for ten seconds. Most matches go out in ten seconds.
- The ask-don't-yell move: calmly say what you need. 'Hey, can you stop tapping my seat?' Not yelled, not whined, just said. Siblings respond way better when you actually ask.
- The be-the-one-who-quits-first move: if a fight does start, be the one who lets the other have the last word. Walking away first while your sibling is still going is one of the strongest moves a kid can make.
Talk It Over
When was the last time someone in our car chose not to start a fight when they really wanted to?